“Mummy, arrange me a love marriage, no?”
Hello this is my post for the love marriage ya arranged marriage contest by Indiblogger and Sony Entertainment. Hope you enjoy!
Now let me take you on an adventure. You are a young child, from a rich family. You get into the best school in the area. You study very hard and get good marks. Then you decide that you want to do a degree in engineering. As your marks are very good, you get into the best engineering college in the world. Then after 4 years of hard work you pass out of your college with flying colors. Then you go for your first job, and the manager is very happy with you so you get the job. Then one day at work, you see a young woman. She looks very beautiful. Her eyeliner is in perfectly right with the makeup on her face. And her long dark hair is swinging gracefully by her side. Her clothes are perfect, and her walk is so very graceful. So after a few days, you gather up the strength to talk to her. Her voice is so sweet and crisp and you feel like falling into a trance as she talks to you. At last you manage to stammer: “I…I love you. Her cheeks go red. Her lips curl up into a smile. Then she gives you a small wink, giggles, and runs. ‘
That felt good, didn’t it? Yeah, that’s the type of girls most guys dream of meeting. This is somewhat how a love marriage starts. As you would have seen in the movies (especially all these tamil and hindi love stories), love marriage can go through rather rocky points. A major cause of that is that the parents of either side don’t agree. This could be due to any reason. Like, for example
- They have some grudge against the family of the other person
- They are planning to wed you to someone else
Now let’s take a look at all these reasons with a bit of detail:
First one is very unlikely. Only done in movies
Second one is rather common, but not many parents will do that if you truly love someone else
Third one will mostly be there before of love marriages, but will continue to the extent of not having the marriage only if the parents feel something’s wrong with the other person or his/her family.
And now we reach the most interesting point:
Religion. The fourth and final reason is religion. You see, as much as religion can help unite people under a single belief, it can also be the reason for people to be unsociable with people from other religions, which in my opinion is unacceptable. After all, we all are humans on this earth right? In other countries like the US, or UK, most parents don’t take religion to the extent of not letting their children get married, I think because most of them are united under the single religion of Christianity.In India, however, we have several religions mixing, like Hinduism, Buddhism, Jainism, and Muslim. Thankfully the ‘overdoing’ of religion has come down, so now not too many parents in India will not allow their children to get married because of religion. However, there are still a few families who care a lot about the religion of the other person before marriage. For example, if the horoscopes of both you and the other person don’t match correctly, then some families will be reluctant to get you to married. That is one form of religion, where people are superstitious and don’t want to marry their child to you for the sole purpose that you two might get harmed. However, there is another sort of reason why the parents refuse to let you get married to their children. It’s when any one of the two families have certain differences based on their religions, and one family refuses to let their son/daughter marry you solely because your religion is this. I feel this is very bad, as it will simply cause two lovers a lot, just simply because of different views. And this is no less than racism. After all, what is racism? It is simply when one criticizes someone for who they are, like skin color, gender, language, etc. So if someone criticizes someone else because their religion, then that is also racism, is that not? And this sort of bias has cost the lives of countless people. Fortunately, this is dwindling and there have not been any such incidents in a while.
Now check out this nice video on 2 lovers in college. It’s a song from the Tamil movie “Kadhalil Sodhappuvadhu Yeppadi”, which means “How to fail in love”. It’s a very nice song, check it out:
Even despite all these risks, there is still a great chance that you two will have a great married life and your parent’s smiles. Still if there is some rare problem and your family refuses to let you marry the other person then that mostly involves eloping, which causes deep discomfort inside families. Some families even disown their children for this reason. So if you feel that there is no need for all this kolaveri then there is another solution. It is:
Arranged marriagesare quiet common in Indian culture, because Indian parents are slightly more protective than most others, and will want only happiness for the child. Not that arranged marriages don’t take place anywhere else. Of course they do. Not too much though because in the US or UK or Canada the children leave their parents home at 18, and hence mostly marry whoever they really like rather than who the parents choose. In Indian and Korean culture, though, it’s not unusual for children to live with their parents until they are married, so in India at least, most parents try their best will select a nice person for you, who you love. Whether you love that person or not is a different story. Most parents will not force you marry someone if you don’t love them, but can sometimes make up your mind for you. And that is particularly useful if your not a very talkative person, or a very shy person, who has a lot of doubts on who to pick. It’s not a thoroughly bad option, mind you, as long as you love that person. The problem arises only when you don’t…..
As important as it isto listen to your parents, it’s that important to make your views heard. For example if you really don’t love the person, but say yes to marrying him/her simply because your parents want you to, then imagine what disasters that can bring upon you both. You see, to keep a marriage together, you must have strong love for each other. Otherwise the bond of marriage isn’t complete. Like now if neither of you truly love one another, and married only for your parents’ sake, then imagine the disasters. As you must know, all married couples fight. And they fight a lot. In the end after the 20-minuite fight what holds them together? Love. Yes, love. Now even if the fight causes the pair to separate, then they will always find a way of getting back. Now if the same 20- minute fight occurs between two people who don’t love each other, then the problem arises. And so if you still marry someone who you don’t love, giving the excuse that your parents will be upset, then imagine how upset they will be when you come home later saying that you never loved her? So instead of all this kolaveri, just make sure that your views are heard before making arrangements. After all your parents will always have your best interests at heart, and will definitely go to any lengths to make you happy.
So now I will conclude by saying this: After looking at both forms of marriage in depth, I have found that both of them require a strong force of love between bride and groom, and both will test it severely. So it doesn’t really matter which you choose, but neither will be easy. And other than love both forms require a lot of strength, and willpower. So all the best to you all 🙂
So that brings this survey to an end. I sincerely hoped that you enjoyed it, and will read some more of my posts later. Adios! Catch you later!